and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
They have beer where we have blood.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize