At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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