even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
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Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
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I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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