Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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