It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
