He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
