You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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