He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
