it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
