I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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