I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
