I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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