Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize