My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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