i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
being pregnant is like rehab
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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