I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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