You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my sisters under your porch take her home
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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