She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
