I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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