So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
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Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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