I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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