I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
now i know why i became what i already was.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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