He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
No subtext here. People are naked.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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