I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
