You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
