I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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