i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
