please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
bring money and cleavage
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
