Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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