I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
