just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
