weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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