just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize