all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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