she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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