This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
