Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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