He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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