UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
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i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
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my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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