I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
