She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My vagina is very pro this idea
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