Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Oh god it's open bar.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
