lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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