The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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