Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
