His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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