I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
