Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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