Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
