Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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