I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
