Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
