Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
