super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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