you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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