I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
