i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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