Kareoke will never be a sober sport
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
