I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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