he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
as a side note pls kill me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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