Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
be right there i have to get my cape
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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