That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
