cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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