Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
No subtext here. People are naked.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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