my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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