everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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